Chapter one from my novel

Ok, I've showed this is to alot of people but I'm gonna put it on here. Please comment and be honest.
Pike….
“Mane.. hurr tha fuck up….I’m tryin to git upon some pussy tonite!!!” A-K drunk ass said. Albert Kane was very impatiently waiting on his younger brother Vibe. He stopped his 6’6 figure in front of the mirror to check his dreads and saw it was clearly time for a touch up. “….damn pretty boi”, he remarked as he checked out his 24 year old dark toned and rough appearance. The girls went crazy for him for 3 reasons, he got money, pretty gray eyes, and good ass sex. Now Vibe….he’s a different story.,.
Vibe finally got the line in the back of head just right. He reached for his jacket and was down stairs, pressed in some new jeans and Roca Wear T-shirt. His brother put out his black and stood. Victor “Vibe” Kane was about four inches shorter, 3 years younger than his brother and at the other end of the color span in color, a light hazelnut. His eyes, however, were gray like A-K’s. Vibe was smart ass hell, in and out of the classroom and that’s what got him respect in his hood. That and he was the lil brother of the Don of the Coke game for the entire Gulf coast. New Orleans was were it began about 14 years ago and the Kane name was gold…but you couldn’t tell…as least not now. Momma Kane got hooked on the shit and her hospital bills took a lot….now AK’s building back business fast… “Well come on bitch we aint got all night, besides I need to talk to you…”, AK mentioned as they walked out the door of their 3 bedroom home outside of Liye projects. AK knew he belonged back in college, this money is as much for Vibe than him. He looked at his lil brother and smiled, “Yeah…I’mma take care of em Momma.”

“Break that shit down chica!” Ebony yelled to her cousin Corrine. She ran in the kitchen just in time to see her youngest make her way onto a table and almost off of it. “Atansyon! You cannot do that! I don’t like that, Ah’maya!” she yelled at her 18 month old princess. Ah’ maya Shaw looked up at her mother and gave that million dollar smile to her. “Ma’am….MAMA!” came from her mouth as she reached for the 23 year old mother of three: Ah’maya, 5 year old Kevin and 3 Ramone. “Lil girl you silly”, Ebony said as she grabbed the baby and a pop from the icebox. She walked back in her bedroom and got her meter so she could test her “sugar”. “I don’t need this pop,” she thought as she pricked her finger and after placing a small amount of blood on the strip she saw that it would be cool this time. She looked up in the mirror and studied her appearance. Her extra curly hair was always cut very short to frame her small but strong face. High cheek bones lead up to slanted dark brown eyes. The daughter of a Haitian father and a Korean mother, her small nose, perfect light brown skin and full lips gave her an exotic appearance. At 6’1 she was head and shoulders everyone on the basketball court in high school. Colleges were knocking down her door at 14. Her impressive stats got her an open door to the Lady Vols of U Tenn so she decided to stay in her home town. Her freshman year of college she put up phenomenal performances on and off the floor. That was also the year she and Bernard Shaw, a cat who lived in town and whom she had grown up with, started fucking….she fucked herself right out of college. Shortly after, Kevin came into the picture. Bernard did the right thing and he and Ebony been married 4 years. His people were from New Orleans and offered them a place to stay while they got on their feet. He was about 6’2 and very slim. He also inherited the typical Creole appearance, pale skin, deep brown wavy hair he kept cut low and striking green eyes. It was convenient that Ebony’s mother had moved there shortly after her high school graduation after a promotion at her job. She kept her news stories on a bookshelf, which she looked at off the reflection of the mirror. “Can’t stay in the past….aint that right pretty?” she bounced Ah’maya up and the little girl giggled. She are her mother were practically twin except for her eye color. Ah’maya had eyes the color of amber. Ebony finally walked back to the front room to see Corrine or CoCoa. That name fit Corrine Monique Andre`. The daughter of Haitian immigrants she was a rich deep shade of cocoa. Her wide brown eyes looked up at Ebony and she and her daughter sit down. She smiled and displayed perfect white teeth at her baby cousin and the little girl laugh. Unlike Ebony, Corrine stood 5’5 and was nowhere near the same body type. Her shoulder length, jet black hair was natural and pulled up in a bushy ponytail. Her breast were a mere 30B compared to Ebony’s DDs. However, when it came to the booty….Ebony had was she referred to as illusion ass, which is a booty only seemed to be seen in low rise jeans. Corrine enjoyed what was known as the “black girl gap”, but had learned to work with it at Bella Artes, a performing arts school outside of New York City. Early in her life Corrine’s mom noticed something about her daughter. One day in the summer of 1990 after a hard day work Fali and Nnikem Andre` walked into the house, apparently mad because they were fussing in Creole.“Fali, you need ta quit having such an attitoode with your boss. One day him not gone find it so funny”, Nnikem said to his wife of 12 years.“Him not need to tink him can run me ova aye….stoopid ass,” Fali stated as she took her waist length dredlocks out of a ponytail. She looked as if she were carved out of pure sapphire, a petite 5’2 , 105 pound firecracker. What she didn’t have in statue she had in attitude. Nnikem looked into his wife’s eyes and smiled. He remembered how Fali stood up for his departed sister back in the day. He fell in love with her then…but dear Fali was as about as embraceable as cactus. Contrary to his rough appearance, he was a big teddy bear. He stood 6’6 and was almost as dark as Fali. His slanted eyes somehow aquired a shade of hazel and his wavy hair was always kept very short. After years of work, he gained her trust, her respect, and her love. Shortly after their marriage in 1975, they both moved to the United States before the birth of their twin boys, Eli and Earic. Several years later Corrine made her way into the picture. “Momma look!” Corrine shouted from the back room of their 3 bedroom shot gun house in New Orleans’s 17th ward. Nnikem watched his wife leave the kitchen and shortly after heard her scream. He raced into the bedroom to see his daughter with one leg high above her head, the other on the floor and apparently in no pain. Corrine then carefully took her leg down and spun around…on her toes and without any shoes on. Fali and Nnikem were notorious for thinking alike, so the joint support of Corrine’s dance talent came easily. After various performances at the Sanger theater in downtown New Orleans, a talent scout from Belle Artes offered to pay for young Corrine’s audition. At 17, Corrine was one of the youngest people at her audition. Her thick natural mane was pulled up in a high ponytail, braided and pinned to give her the appearance of wearing a crown. Her eyes scanned the crowd to get a feel for competition and or friends. She noticed a group of dancers stretching, quietly chatting and bragging about their many hours of training. Corrine had no training, just a cheerleader coach who had given a few hours after school to help her with holding angles with her body. The leader of the group was a very thin blonde who spoke in mostly Russian to an older woman who must have been her mother. She suddenly whirled around and looked at Corrine and smirked. The other girls glanced away and talked amongst themselves. The leader walked over to Corrine while she was stretching and leaned down, “Name’s Navai, welcome to MY world.” As she walked away, she noticed Navai’s jacket said Belle Artes class of 2006. What have I gotten myself into, she thought.“Ms. Andre`, we are ready” the judge, an older white woman said. She looked Corrine over with disbelief. There’s no way this girl was Belle Artes material, she thought.She walked on stage and performed a composition similar to one performed by Carmencita, a Spanish dancer. She put much more of herself into the dance. Her leaps were flawless, she moved like a ribbon, effortlessly and gracefully. Two weeks later she was jumping around with her acceptance letter in her hand. She was about to embark on a journey unlike no other, to become a dancer on Broadway. Now it was fall 2007 and she was in her final year. Corrine held the attention of casting directors in the many upcoming productions, including those of “The Color Purple”, and she intended on keeping it.As Corrine handed the weed to Ebony a knock was at the door. Ciara’s “promise” came on BET and she got up and began to practice moves for her final dance to the beat. Since the move to New Orleans, Eb had become Corrine’s older sister as well as closest cousin. She was older by a year but life matured her beyond her years, and she worked just as hard as anyone else to keep Corrine on tract.“Point your toes more, you’re long but make your body as linear as you can. You got a booty, thin it out with illusion Cocoa”, Eb said as she gutted the cigar and began to roll one up.“Damn all that. They need to take me as I am!” Corrine spun around slowly as Bernard came through and let two of the sexiest men into the house Corrine had ever seen.“My nigga AK whut it dew!!” Bernard hugs this giant of a man who is followed in by a smaller lighter version of himself.“Not a damn…you remember Vibe aye?” as AK pointed to his younger brother who was not really focused on Bernard at all, but on the sapphire queen he saw spinning slowly on her tiptoes. “Nigga…” AK bumped Vibe and he shook Bernard’s hand. “This is my wife Ebony and her cousin Cocoa, Corrine if you see her in public,” he laughed as passed Corrine. “Nigga you aint no good,” Corrine said as she reached out to shake AK’s hand.“Strong grip, what you do for a living?” AK asked as he rubbed his hand.“Nigga she’s the dancer I told you about. Bitch bout to be HOT and we gone be in NYC right thur wit er. Yezzir….” Bernard said as he lit the blunt Ebony had just handed him.“Nice to meet you as well,” Corrine said to Vibe as she held her hand out. Vibe grabbed her hand and held it, studying the soft dark skin. “You too,” he stammered out. He’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life. Cocoa took the blunt from Bernard, took a hit, passed it to him and flashed the smile that burned itself into his memory. “Lets go in the back so you can practice Cocoa,” Eb said. Cocoa picked up a rather large duffel bag and pulled out some tights, shoes, and a CD. Ah’maya begin to protest until Corrine picked up the little girl and kissed her on the forehead. While she held the baby she finally became aware that she had an audience and smiled at Vibe. Eb tried to pass the blunt to Bernard but he refused.“Go head baby, I’mma handle business up here” Bernard and AK sat down to talk. Eb handed another unlit blunt to Vibe and she and Cocoa went into the back. Vibe stood in the doorway, lit and halfway hit the blunt and angled himself so he could hear the conversation and see the mystery than is Cocoa in motion. After a few moments classical music played, she stepped into view. Her toned body was the embodiment of perfection. He felt his heart respond and felt the pressure localize itself in a lower region of his body as well. Cocoa danced to a upbeat composition, but he felt like something was missing from it. Her face held a sadness, one he couldn’t place but wanted to rid her from…