Alone

Every since the death of my mother, I have been alone. And I didn't  like it, but I got used to it. It's what makes weekends on the couch saying and doing nothing so easy. Why I never felt the pressure to get married, only the annoying nagging sensation that I'm not supposed to marry because God did not make a person for me. It's what makes the thought of me possibly never being able to have kids bearable. Then by mistake, I found it. Presented to me in the package of a beautiful, brave, stubborn, southern man. I can't imagine a life without him by my side. My brain tells me that feeling this way about another person is not logical and will lead to pain. My heart says, "fuck you brain"...... Not too long ago I fucked up because I behaved as if I were still alone. He didn't leave. In fact he loved me harder because he coulda walked away but he stayed. If he ever reads this, I love you..... And because of you, I don't want to be alone anymore