Nobody is reading this anymore, so its just a way for me to vent. I think that this is like writing to an unknown best friend....one who just listens.....I think writing by month would work best
April 2010 - I finished up my last month of medical school. Bought a home in the city I now live in. It was a month preparing for my future and enjoying my last month as a student. There was a gala where a guy.....we'll call him W (not the president) came to visit me.....He was amazing the whole time. Helped me clean my home, we shared our first kiss.....it was awesome......I began to fall for this man by the time he left
May 2010 - graduation from medical school, traveled to new orelans, miami, and ....
June 2010 - to North carolina and saw W. Again....the act of just seeing this man.....damn I was falling in love with him by this time
July 2010 - residency began. many many hours of work
August - nov 2010 - The work continued, I found that I had less and less contact with W. A trip there in early November 2010 which resparked the flame for me.....and I begged him to communicate or else I'm not going to be there anymore.
Dec 2010 - Jan 2011 - worked christmas, began to plan for a vacation with W....one that would be in my favorite city....New Orleans during valentine's day
Feb 2011 - stood up on the trip.....relationship with W ended
More to come
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Passed
Hello to all of you movers and shakers.
So this will be rather quick because I have a meeting in like a few minutes. But I did wanna go over a few things that have been going on.
I have since retaken both CK and CS and as of TODAY I found out I have passed them both!!!!
Mom's been dead 8 months and in some ways its getting easier, in some ways, the pain gets worse each day. April 9th would've been her birthday.
Dad is dating the woman he's been screwing around on my mom with for years. To say the least, she makes my blood boil.
Single....not looking for the one, but I am talking to some people
Hopefully I will be back soon to update you more!
So this will be rather quick because I have a meeting in like a few minutes. But I did wanna go over a few things that have been going on.
I have since retaken both CK and CS and as of TODAY I found out I have passed them both!!!!
Mom's been dead 8 months and in some ways its getting easier, in some ways, the pain gets worse each day. April 9th would've been her birthday.
Dad is dating the woman he's been screwing around on my mom with for years. To say the least, she makes my blood boil.
Single....not looking for the one, but I am talking to some people
Hopefully I will be back soon to update you more!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The elevator
The wedding was just too much for her to handle....
The idea of being a bridesmaid in the wedding of the man
SHE wanted to marry turned her stomach
So she strayed away to the elevator and pushed the call button
The wedding party stood around outside, no doubt wondering where she was
She texted her fellow wedding party member
And informed her that the milk she put in her coffee
Had done some damage
The reply was and LOL and a take your time.
Ding.....The doors sweep open and she grabs
The billowing dress and climbs on board
As the door closes she turns her back and puts her head on the cool marble
"What the fuck was I thinking.....I must like pain"
She says to nobody...A few seconds pass before she realizes
She's not going up or down
Before she could rest the button with the number 20 on it
Ding....."Shit" she says and turns to meet who has interrupted her
Tranquility....and it was him..........She freezes
His eyes locked with hers as he steps on board
And pushes the button to send them to the 20th floor.....
Her hearts pounding, she'd been playing with the idea of telling him
What he already knew...
"I....." she starts....then stops.
He turns.....looks at her.....and hits the emergency stop button
In a moment he has closed the space between them from feet to inches
"I love you.....I've always loved you....." she breathes out finally
She backs away til she feels cold marble on her back
He remains silent, looking at her with eyes that would make
The Arctic Circle melt into a paradise
He moves so close to her that he can count her eyelashes
"....I love you......I miss you......" he says and seals his words
With a kiss that combined with a candle would light the flame
They've hidden for years
Suddenly her eyes snap open, pushes him away
Then pushes the emergency lock back into place
She turns to fix his tux and then pushes 20 then 1
The elevator slowly ascends then he speaks,
"Is this not what you want....."
She takes the deepest breath of her life and turns to him,
"Sex isn't enough.....hearing you say you love me isn't doing either one of us any good"
He runs his fingers through his dreds and looks at her
"I thought you said you loved me"
Ding...the door the the 20th floor opens and she begins to walk out
She stops midway through the door
And without turning around she speaks
"I love you.....I love you enough to let you go."
He stands against the wall of the elevator as she begins to walk away
Shoulders straight, hair bouncing, heels clicking, dress swaying....
The doors begin to close leaving him to look in the shinny reflection of himself
And realizes for the first time
How much being in love sucks.
The idea of being a bridesmaid in the wedding of the man
SHE wanted to marry turned her stomach
So she strayed away to the elevator and pushed the call button
The wedding party stood around outside, no doubt wondering where she was
She texted her fellow wedding party member
And informed her that the milk she put in her coffee
Had done some damage
The reply was and LOL and a take your time.
Ding.....The doors sweep open and she grabs
The billowing dress and climbs on board
As the door closes she turns her back and puts her head on the cool marble
"What the fuck was I thinking.....I must like pain"
She says to nobody...A few seconds pass before she realizes
She's not going up or down
Before she could rest the button with the number 20 on it
Ding....."Shit" she says and turns to meet who has interrupted her
Tranquility....and it was him..........She freezes
His eyes locked with hers as he steps on board
And pushes the button to send them to the 20th floor.....
Her hearts pounding, she'd been playing with the idea of telling him
What he already knew...
"I....." she starts....then stops.
He turns.....looks at her.....and hits the emergency stop button
In a moment he has closed the space between them from feet to inches
"I love you.....I've always loved you....." she breathes out finally
She backs away til she feels cold marble on her back
He remains silent, looking at her with eyes that would make
The Arctic Circle melt into a paradise
He moves so close to her that he can count her eyelashes
"....I love you......I miss you......" he says and seals his words
With a kiss that combined with a candle would light the flame
They've hidden for years
Suddenly her eyes snap open, pushes him away
Then pushes the emergency lock back into place
She turns to fix his tux and then pushes 20 then 1
The elevator slowly ascends then he speaks,
"Is this not what you want....."
She takes the deepest breath of her life and turns to him,
"Sex isn't enough.....hearing you say you love me isn't doing either one of us any good"
He runs his fingers through his dreds and looks at her
"I thought you said you loved me"
Ding...the door the the 20th floor opens and she begins to walk out
She stops midway through the door
And without turning around she speaks
"I love you.....I love you enough to let you go."
He stands against the wall of the elevator as she begins to walk away
Shoulders straight, hair bouncing, heels clicking, dress swaying....
The doors begin to close leaving him to look in the shinny reflection of himself
And realizes for the first time
How much being in love sucks.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Update.....
Well a few things have happened since my last post.
I did not pass my board exam. I was more pissed at myself than sad. I'm studying for it again. I know I will pass.
I am still dating Y. Again, I dunno how serious this will become but I do like him quite a bit.
I really do miss my mom. Its thanksgiving and I have alot to be thankful for....just hard to put it into words right now
I did not pass my board exam. I was more pissed at myself than sad. I'm studying for it again. I know I will pass.
I am still dating Y. Again, I dunno how serious this will become but I do like him quite a bit.
I really do miss my mom. Its thanksgiving and I have alot to be thankful for....just hard to put it into words right now
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Been a while....if anyone is still reading....
Hello to all......or anyone who still reads this.
Well the last post I put up was about my mother, O and L.....
Since mama's death, things have been rough for me. I mean I function in clinic and smile and all that shit.....but I think of her everyday. All the time. I miss her alot. I sometimes go and smell a jacket of hers that I have. Never notice things like that until you don't have them around anymore. The holidays are approaching and if I had it my way, I would sleep through the entire time. I have gotten several invitations to come to people's homes to eat, but I don't know if I can fake it that much. As of right now I plan to cook for myself and stay in my apartment.
O and I stopped the romance and are strictly friends now
L ....we're over. The day after my boards he informed me that he couldn't deal with the possibility of me leaving and going someplace else for residency. Afterwards he stood me up at several things he promised to be at just as a friend. I can do bad by myself, so I haven't talked to him. He has texted and IMed me several times, but I just don't have anything to say.
Y.....This is a new guy to the blog, but I've known him for years. I used to date a frat brother of his, but it wasn't very serious.....ok, it was just sex. Anyway, when Y and I met, we didn't really get along. A few weeks ago though we started talked via IM and decided to go out on a date. To my surprise, some sparks few. So he and I have been seeing each other for a while now. He's not an official boyfriend, but I don't plan on entertaining other people for right now.
As I said, I took my board exam on Oct 23rd. I don't have my score yet, but I think I passed. I walked out feeling like I passed and the doubt that I presently have is due to nerves. I just need to see PASS. I don't really care about the score.
Residency interviews have begun. I have 5, 2 of which I've already attended. Next one is at the end of the month.
Well I hope this update filled you all in. Please feel free to comment. Talk to you all soon
Well the last post I put up was about my mother, O and L.....
Since mama's death, things have been rough for me. I mean I function in clinic and smile and all that shit.....but I think of her everyday. All the time. I miss her alot. I sometimes go and smell a jacket of hers that I have. Never notice things like that until you don't have them around anymore. The holidays are approaching and if I had it my way, I would sleep through the entire time. I have gotten several invitations to come to people's homes to eat, but I don't know if I can fake it that much. As of right now I plan to cook for myself and stay in my apartment.
O and I stopped the romance and are strictly friends now
L ....we're over. The day after my boards he informed me that he couldn't deal with the possibility of me leaving and going someplace else for residency. Afterwards he stood me up at several things he promised to be at just as a friend. I can do bad by myself, so I haven't talked to him. He has texted and IMed me several times, but I just don't have anything to say.
Y.....This is a new guy to the blog, but I've known him for years. I used to date a frat brother of his, but it wasn't very serious.....ok, it was just sex. Anyway, when Y and I met, we didn't really get along. A few weeks ago though we started talked via IM and decided to go out on a date. To my surprise, some sparks few. So he and I have been seeing each other for a while now. He's not an official boyfriend, but I don't plan on entertaining other people for right now.
As I said, I took my board exam on Oct 23rd. I don't have my score yet, but I think I passed. I walked out feeling like I passed and the doubt that I presently have is due to nerves. I just need to see PASS. I don't really care about the score.
Residency interviews have begun. I have 5, 2 of which I've already attended. Next one is at the end of the month.
Well I hope this update filled you all in. Please feel free to comment. Talk to you all soon
Friday, August 7, 2009
A mixed bag
Quite a few things have gone on since I've last blogged
July 25th - My mother lost her battle with colon cancer and died at 11:47am. It was heart wrenching, I was by her side when she took her last breath. She did not wanna die in the hospital and so she died at home, in her bed surrounded by her children and her husband. I miss her so badly...I still look for her to call me at times. I miss her cooking, her smell, her lipstick on my face after she gives me a kiss....its hard....its real hard folks.
In the world of my men only two exist: O and L....
O and I are still carrying on regular conversations. I really care about him....hell I love him....but I don't know if I can fall in love with him anymore. The way he did me on my birthday....i still haven't really forgiven. Besides, he enjoys being single...who am I to take that from him. At the same time...I'd be a fool to wait.....
L and I met face to face about a month or so ago. He's a great guy...I really like him alot....but I'm not trying to get attached to him....not working too well for me though.
I'm working OB nights....somebody else needs the computer.
More later
July 25th - My mother lost her battle with colon cancer and died at 11:47am. It was heart wrenching, I was by her side when she took her last breath. She did not wanna die in the hospital and so she died at home, in her bed surrounded by her children and her husband. I miss her so badly...I still look for her to call me at times. I miss her cooking, her smell, her lipstick on my face after she gives me a kiss....its hard....its real hard folks.
In the world of my men only two exist: O and L....
O and I are still carrying on regular conversations. I really care about him....hell I love him....but I don't know if I can fall in love with him anymore. The way he did me on my birthday....i still haven't really forgiven. Besides, he enjoys being single...who am I to take that from him. At the same time...I'd be a fool to wait.....
L and I met face to face about a month or so ago. He's a great guy...I really like him alot....but I'm not trying to get attached to him....not working too well for me though.
I'm working OB nights....somebody else needs the computer.
More later
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Changes like a mutha
Well alot has gone on lately. First off I'm now 26 years old. My birthday was cool. Got my license renewed, got my BLS recertified, and got my nails done. Then when I got home, I found out that my plans....which were at least a month in the making.......with O fell through. I had been on the line of whether or not to persue something more serious than a friendship with this man......I got my answer
I have officially kicked D to the curb. He got all mad....what a baby. How you gonna get mad when the person you keep hurting finally says....ok no more.
B and I are gonna have lunch on Friday. I hope that's not gonna be a mistake.
Keep reading bitches!!!
I have officially kicked D to the curb. He got all mad....what a baby. How you gonna get mad when the person you keep hurting finally says....ok no more.
B and I are gonna have lunch on Friday. I hope that's not gonna be a mistake.
Keep reading bitches!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
