So I what sitting around yesterday thinking about how much I hated my life. I mean within the last month, I lost a brother, the man I thought I would marry, my best friend has stopped talking to me...I just really really felt sorry for myself. Ate some french fries and went to sleep.
Woke up today, feeling alot better. Had an explaination for almost everything....
Ahmad was an awesome person, but his time was cut short b/c of pain. Pain I wished he would have shared instead of letting eat him alive. I miss him. I know he and I didn't spend as much time together as I would have liked. I know he's gonna be watchin over me. I miss him alot already.
As far as my ex...it was cool...no, wonderful, while it lasted. All good things have to come to an end and the sand in our hour glass ran out. I do wish him well and maybe in the future we can be civil. But right now, having him gone is the best thing for me.
S is my best friend. We've been buddies since I was 12 and now she just refuses to talk to me. She says there is no way one person can have such bad luck. I dunno what planet she's on or from but I want her to come back to earth.
D and I had a great weekend. We watched movies and just hung out. Had a wonderful time....then he told me how much he loved me. Truthfully, I love him back. Not romantically, but if I let myself, I would. I'm just not ready. Not ready to be tied down, not ready to love or be loved.
8 days til the step....
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